Meet Rychalle:
Rychelle and I went to college together and have since kept in touch via social media, when I say this women has a pure heart of gold, there is not a single person who would disagree. "We all have a journey.
Some of us walk seamlessly and others encounter obstacles. How we navigate our journey defines who
we are and what we are willing to contribute to others."
"It was immediately after the birth of our second son, Gavin
, in 2003 that I felt different.
Gavin wasn’t our first child, so I knew what to expect. Our first son, Ryan, didn’t sleep as a
newborn, was allergic to his formula and well, he was our first. So I remember the exhausted. I also remember how my body looked and
felt. This was different. I left the hospital heavier than when I
was admitted with Gavin. I was
more tired than I remembered with Ryan.
I dismissed it. It was
something I was going to address with my Dr at my 6 week checkup."
"When Gavin was 19 days old my world forever changed. My mother called and told me that
my little brother Michael was dead.
How could this be? Michael
was 25. He was just over my house
the night before for dinner. He
was fine. What happened? Michael died in his sleep from a
pulmonary embolism. The silent killer. No family history. This wasn’t how it was supposed to
happen. He was supposed to be
here. How was I going to tell
Ryan? Ryan loved him. How was I supposed to explain to a 2
year old that his Unkie was gone?
And Gavin. He would never
know his "Gentle giant” uncle.
Everyone loved him. His
smile was infectious. His laugh
was engaging. He was larger than
life. Literally. He stood 6’8”. So there I was in a funeral home making
arrangements. My mother was
inconsolable. And my younger
brother Kevin was numb. I had to
hold it together. Losing your
brother is a different kind of loss.
You never get over it, it just becomes different."
"My body continued to betray me. Even though I didn’t breast feed I was still producing
milk. The dr. kept telling
me it was “normal”. I was strictly
following Weight Watchers and exercising 4x a week. But at
the 6m mark I was 30lbs HEAVIER than the day I gave birth. My Dr. and the people at Weight
Watchers were retelling me that I wasn’t being honest with myself. I was eating more than reporting and I
really wasn’t exercising.
But I was. My hair was
falling out, I was constipated, my skin was dry and I was exhausted! And there was something
else. My appearance started to
change. Not because of the weight
(that’s what the Dr said it was from) but I looked different. The structure of my face was changing.
I had developed a “second” eyebrow bone. My feet were growing and my hand size too. My self-esteem was gone. I no longer liked what I saw in the
mirror. "
"When Gavin was 2 and Ryan was 4 I was 60lbs heavier, my shoe
size was 2.5 sizes bigger, I had gaps in my teeth, and I could no longer wear
my wedding or engagement rings. A
friend who had not seen me since college didn’t recognize me when he saw
me. He said my face changed. I told the Dr’s all of this, but they
didn’t listen. They dismissed
me. "
"I continued to try and find answers. My body was fighting itself. I hated her for that. Why was she doing this to me? I hated
the way I looked. The way I felt. I was bloated, tired, I had brain
fog. I didn’t look like a slither of
my former self. No matter what I
did nothing worked. My Dr. thought
it was all my thyroid. I was hypo,
had nodules, and Hashimotos. I was
on levothyroxine but my levels never stabilized. I was accused of not taking my meds, being a hypochondriac,
and stimulating my nipples to produce milk. WHAT!?!?!?!?!?
ENOUGH!!!!!"
"In late 2009 a Dr listened. She simply said, “I think you have a pituitary tumor”. Guess what? I did. On
October 15, 2010 I had brain surgery.
The recovery was horrific.
But it was worth it. I felt
like myself again. All the
physical changes would not go back to what they were before, but I felt
good. Things didn’t last
long. In 2012 the tumor
returned. And now because the
tumor was undiagnosed for so long my thyroid was severely damaged. It’s a constant struggle."
I think I should also mention here, because it's important to understand that while Rychelle was going though all of this herself, life kept going and she continued to care for so many others around her. She was the primary caregiver for her mother, who had been diagnosed with vascular dementia and was working full time as a direct advocate for children with significant mental illness who had been exposed to severe emotional, physical or sexual trauma.
"Over the course of my journey I have struggled with self-worth,
self-value, self-esteem, self-love, hope, acceptance and understanding. I have questioned my sanity. I have questioned my ability to
mother. But I have also
learned to true meaning of love, hope, acceptance, faith, understanding and the
ability to ask for help. My
husband Brian has stood by my side the entire time. He has NEVER questioned how I felt or what I was doing. But most of all he loved me. He accepted me. Although this disease has physically
changed me it didn’t take away who I am as a person. And that is what he tells me. He tells me I am still self-less, loyal, honest, witty,
compassionate and beautiful. That
is what he fell in love with. I
have gained and lost friends because of this disease. I rarely complain of how I feel. Because it could be worse. But those who have stood by me believe in me and love
me. They know when I am
hurting. They know when I am at my
limit. They know when I need
them. I don’t get to see some of
my strongest supporters often. But
when I do it like we were never apart. "
"As women we need to respect our bodies. We need to listen to our souls. The good, the bad, and the not so
pretty. Our bodies tell a
story. Some stories are long. Some are short. But they are our stories. All stories are worth reading and
sharing. I no longer think of
myself as beautiful,. I think of
myself as a warrior. This is
my battle. "
When I put out my casting call to find women willing to get in front of my camera and willing to share some very vulnerable journeys, words can't describe the happiness I felt when Rychelle responded. She came in with an open mind, she trusted me and she rocked this shoot like the amazing warrior she is.
Thank you Rychelle, thank you for telling us your journey and opening yourself up. You are truly beautiful and I am even more thankful to call you a friend. I am so glad, so many years ago, our paths crossed at Bonaventure.
Rychelle, a fighter, a rock, an inspiration, a truly generous soul whose beauty reflects not just on the inside but on the outside too.
